The Lightning Fart book review

*I received a kindle copy of this book from the author*

This is literally the first time I've read a parody of a book. The Lightning Fart by Steve Lookner was written as a parody of The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan, one of my favorite series, so when I saw this on Amazon, I freaked. I was like, "Oh my god. There's a parody of this? Yes, please!" I was so excited to check this out, I actually downloaded the sample first just in case I didn't like it, but what I read from the sample was hilarious. Thanks to Steve Lookner for sending me a copy, the book was absolutely amazing.

Percy Stinkson is a kid from Yancy Academy who gets made fun of a lot because, well, his last name is Stinkson, his best friend is a goat, and his favorite teacher is old and in one of those motorized wheelchair things. He and his class go on a field trip to a museum and a teacher, Mrs. Dodds, turns into a monster, and he gets nervous and farts, causing her to disappear. He learns many things about himself after this incident that he didn't know before, like him being a Half-Wit. 

If you haven't read The Lightning Thief or The Lightning Fart, you'll have no idea what I'm talking about, therefore I encourage you to read either of them, or both. Both is good.

I definitely recommend The Lightning Fart to anyone, unless you're one of those people that find farting disgusting and inappropriate instead of funny. Whether you've read The Lightning Thief or not, I think you'll enjoy this book. Go check it out. :)

-Jessica xoxo

The Iron Trial Book Review

*I received this book from Scholastic in exchange for a review on my blog. I will also be posting this on Amazon.*

In a way I guess I sorta already reviewed this a few weeks ago in my "Jessica Recommends: Middle-Grade Series" post, but now I've actually finished the book. I'll leave a link to that below, but just in case it doesn't work, I'll give a short plot summary.

http://themortaljessica.blogspot.com/2015/07/jessica-recommends-middle-grade-series.html?m=1

There is a school for special kids called the Magisterium, the school for magic. (Almost like Hogwarts!) Each year, the school holds a test called The Iron Trial, and only certain kids are selected to take it: the kids who supposedly have magic. Callum Hunt is a 12-year-old boy who has been told by his father his whole life to stay away from magic, and that the Magisterium isn't safe and is the reason his mother died. He gets selected to take The Iron Trial and his father teaches him every way possible so he can fail the trial and not get into the Magisterium, because if you are selected, attendance isn't optional. When Callum goes to take the test, he screws up everything and gets the lowest score out of everyone, something he and his father are proud of. He's sure he won't get picked, but he does. Through learning to control his magic and anger and making new friends Aaron and Tamara, he realizes that nothing is what it seems at the Magisterium.

I don't have a lot to say about this book, mostly because it was just so great. I loved the idea of friends Holly Black and Cassandra Clare coming together to write this book, considering Cassandra Clare is one of my favorite authors. For those who don't know, Cassandra Clare wrote The Mortal Instruments series and The Infernal Devices trilogy, along with her upcoming Dark Artifices trilogy. Holly Black writes young adult books such as The Curseworkers trilogy, The Coldest Girl in Coldtown, and children's books like The Spiderwick Chronicles and Doll Bones. Anyway, I expected a lot from this book. I was not disappointed. It was sooo good. I loved it, I give it 4/5 stars. Sometimes I couldn't really relate to the kids, considering this was middle-grade, but I am super excited for The Copper Gauntlet. I will definitely be reading the next one, and the rest after that!

Reading and School

There always seems to be a problem for me where I can't really read when school starts or when it's going on in general. It either doesn't interest me to read or I don't have time. I have some ways that you can fix this if you have the same problem.

1. Pick out a book. You want to get one that pulls you to it and seems interesting. If you like the premise, read it. If it's by your favorite author, read it. If it's a book in a series you're currently trying to finish, read it. Read it!

2. Read during school. If you have a free period at school, read. Or you might want to do your homework first and then get to the reading. Sometimes you may have time after a test or classwork to read while everyone else is finishing, so do that. Some schools have SSR, so that's another time to read.

3. Read when you go out. Sometimes readers take their books with them whenever they go to a restaurant or their friend's house when they go out. Your parents might not like this and neither may your friends, but if you like reading, it shouldn't be a problem, unless you're just not paying any attention to them or something. Don't do that.

4. Read at home. When you get home from school and you have homework, do it first. It's always a relief to get your homework over with so you have time to read. If you truly want to read, dedicate your time to it. Don't do anything that will distract you from it. Put your phone somewhere next to you but don't use it unless it's important. Don't turn on your tv unless you're desperately missing PLL or Game of Thrones that night. Just pick up the book you're reading or want to read, and read.

uBooks

Hey guys! I wanted to discuss the uBooks Publishing House with you today, they're so cool!

About a month ago, I discovered uBooks when I was watching a video on youtube, and this girl (not sure of her name) got sent two books from their publishing company and she talked about them for a brief minute or two. (http://youtu.be/WMMhHP8YIoc)

Anyway, uBooks takes your name or your friend's name or anyone's name and puts it as the main character in the book. For example, they sent me Alice in Wonderland as a gift to my friend, Jillian, and it was called "Jillian in Wonderland". It was one of the neatest things I'd seen in a long time, I thought it was so cool! The cover reminded me of Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland with the word print and Cheshire cat's eyes.

I managed to finally get the book to Jillian a couple days ago and she was super excited and thought it was so cool. She took it to her parents and they actually asked me to sign it for her so she'll remember in the future who gave it to her, and I thought that was funny, but a good idea. I completely forgot to sign it, though, and I feel pretty bad now. /:

So yeah, I didn't want this post to be extremely long like the book tag was the other day but there you go and please check out uBooks! I'll leave a link to their website below. Know that they're located in Serbia and that they have to change everything in the books to your name instead of the original character so it might take a while for the book to get to you, but it shouldn't be more than 2-3 weeks. Also, the only books you can order are classics like Pride & Prejudice, Beauty & the Beast, Dracula, etc, and of course Alice in Wonderland!

http://www.ubooks.eu

Disney book tag!

Hey guys! Today I'm going to be doing the Disney book tag, that started a few months ago on Booktube. It was sponsored by Disney-Hyperion and I really enjoy books by their publishing company. Anyway, let's get started!

1. The Little Mermaid - a character who is out of their element, "a fish out of water"

For this one, I chose Alice from Insanity by Cameron Jace. This book is a retelling of Alice in Wonderland, and Alice is always out of her element whether in the retellings or in the original story. She feels like she doesn't really belong because people think she's insane. Nobody believes her story when she tries to tell them it was true, that she did fall down a rabbit hole and go through many adventures in a world called Wonderland. I find her to be, yes, a "fish out of water." She's just such a strange character and she's different.

2. Cinderella - a character who goes through a major transformation

I chose Scout from To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. Throughout the book, Scout is just a little girl who doesn't understand why the world is the way it is, why her father chose to be a lawyer for a black man, and how he can just take the criticism without fighting back. By the end, she meets the infamous Boo Radley, a man who has been secluded in his home for years and who people have assumed is a murderer, and a lunatic. In the end, she realizes he's not the man people think he is. It changes her mind about the world, and she transforms from this little girl to a young woman who is beginning to understand everything and sees her town for what it is.

3. Snow White - a book with an eclectic cast of characters

I feel like for this one, it should be Ready Player One by Ernest Cline. The characters in this book have lives basically based around the Oasis, a virtual world that's an "escape" for most of the people living in the world, and 80's pop culture. They are consumed by the virtual world rather than reality, and that's how the characters live their lives. Secluded in their rooms playing video games and talking/going to school online.

4. Sleeping Beauty - a book that put you to sleep

Fallen by Lauren Kate. It was just tiring to try to read. I couldn't finish it. I literally read about 40 pages, put it in my pile of books to get rid of and fell asleep.

5. The Lion King - a character who had something traumatic happen to them in their childhood

Callum from The Iron Trial by Holly Black and Cassandra Clare. When he was a baby, his mother was killed after giving birth to him and he somehow broke his leg, causing him to have many operations throughout his life but having no way to completely fix his leg. His life gets even more traumatizing when he actually gets picked to be an apprentice in a magic school named the Magisterium, which is supposedly the reason his mother was killed.

6. Beauty and the Beast - a big book you were intimidated by but found to be beautiful

I haven't really read many big books. I guess I can say City of Heavenly Fire. It's such a huge book, but it was sooo good. That's all I have to say.

7. Aladdin - a character who gets their wish granted, for better or worse

Ummm... June from the Legend trilogy by Marie Lu. In the first book, her wish is to find the person who killed her brother. She assumes it's the Republic's most wanted criminal, but finds out in the end of the first book that that's nowhere near where she should be looking. She eventually finds the person responsible, therefore granting her wish.

8. Mulan - a character who pretends to be someone or something they're not

The Prince and the Pauper by Mark Twain. I haven't read this book in years, but if you know much about it, you'll know it's about a young prince and a poor kid who switch places to see what the other's life is like.

9. Toy Story - a book with characters you wish would come to life

Percy Jackson and the Olympians. So much fantasy, action, and awesome characters. 'Nuff said.

10. Disney Descendants - favorite villain or morally ambiguous character

I promise I'm not just saying this because of Descendants, but I think my favorite villain is Maleficent. She's so scary, and her character is beyond awesome. Also, Hades was always a cool villain. I've always thought he was evil, yet hilarious at the same time.

Sorry if the book tag was really long! I hope you enjoyed it, and you should do your own as well!

July wrap-up!

Today I'm going to be doing my July wrap-up, where I talk about all the books I've read this month and give ratings for them all, and discuss whether or not I'd recommend them. I've only read 4 books this month so this will probably be a bit short.

The first book I read this month was Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins. I hadn't read this book before all of the Hunger Games movies came out, so I guess I'm a late bloomer with this. I read the first book, The Hunger Games, back in 2012 when the first movie came out. I loved it and bought the second book, Catching Fire, and got Mockingjay for my birthday that year from my best friend. I had tried reading Catching Fire on multiple occasions and couldn't get into it. It was just boring for me and not as good as the first book. I've been putting off reading it for a few years, and I finally finished it in June. I actually really enjoyed it after I got through mostly the first quarter/half of the book. After that, I started Mockingjay, and to be honest, I didn't like it at all as much as I did the first two books. I give Mockingjay 3/5 stars, mostly because it just felt so rushed like Suzanne didn't know what to do with the last book, but she knew she had to end it, so she just came up with a bunch of random stuff and threw it in there and ended it in a terrible way. Although I must admit, the last sentence of the book will definitely haunt me forever. "There are much worse games to play." Anyway, overall I loved the Hunger Games trilogy. I'd recommend it to anyone who loves action and has seen the movies. If you haven't seen the movies or read the books, I don't know what's wrong with you. You're probably like one of the 5 people in the world to do that.

The next book I read was Legacy of Kings by Eleanor Herman. I requested this book and received a signed ARC directly from her which was so cool. I have a review for this book posted so you can go back to the home page and click on "Legacy of kings review!"

Next, I read Paper Towns by John Green. I originally was putting off reading this because I "read" (I didn't fully read the book) The Fault in Our Stars by him and couldn't finish it. It wasn't very good, so I put off reading Paper Towns because I assumed John Green was a terrible writer, but after reading it, I immediately fell in love with his writing. I guess I just picked up a bad batch of his work. I also have a review for it posted as well so go check that out along with my blog post about my "Night on the Towns" movie experience, where I talk about my time seeing the Paper Towns movie.

Lastly, I read Isle of the Lost by Melissa De La Cruz. This is the prequel to the new Disney Channel Original Movie Descendants. Descendants is about some of the children of Disney's greatest villains being chosen to go to prep school in Auradon with the children of Disney heroes. The Isle of The Lost talks about what happened before this event, where the villains were banished to an island with a magical barrier around it to keep magic out, so the villains have no magic. Some of the villains have children and these children grow up to want to be just like their parents. The time comes for them to prove themselves when Carlos (son of Cruella De Vil) and Evie (daughter of Evil Queen) manage to temporarily burn a hole in the barrier, and magic is restored for a moment. There is another island across the river called Isle of the Doomed, where Maleficent's Dragon's Eye scepter roars back to life and so does her castle that guards it. Back on the Isle of the Lost, Mal (daughter of Maleficent), Jay (son of Jafar), Carlos and Evie go on a quest to retrieve the Dragon's Eye in hopes that they will bring back magic to the island so they can prove to their parents they are worthy of being their children. I gave this book 3/5 stars because while I enjoyed it, I couldn't relate to any of the characters. This book is aimed at children and young adults, but the characters are geared more towards children. The characters act very childish to me and have very childish thoughts, which made it hard for me to truly enjoy the book. I did enjoy it, just not as much as I had hoped to.